Post 3: What’s kicked my soul

I think I should properly introduce myself a bit (but still kept my identity hidden though), as well as giving you a bit on what’s actually kicking up the courage chemical in me to decide to turn my ship this way onward. I’m 26, male, living in Vientiane Laos, going forward I will refer myself as “T”. Graduated with a Bachelor Degree in International Economics and Trade from China. I’m currently a full-time employee of one company. Living with my parent and 1 younger sister. With another one still living abroad for her college education. My Dad work as consultant, my Mom own a clothing shop which she sell in bulk. Like I said I’m pretty much the same as everyone else in present day family, in terms of family size and lifestyle.

It’s seems like everyone already have their things figured out.

My Dad wanted to be the best at his professional career of Engineer Consulting business, he dedicated his 30 years into this industry and yep. He made it, he is able to stay on top of his career and working alongside with his international team in crazily huge organization. My Grandma told me that he did something no one else in the family understood at the time, he dropped out of French classes/school (At his early ages French has a huge influential in Laos, the majority of schools in Laos taught French as Secondary Language). My Dad pursued his interest in one Language that few people in Laos care about at the time, and that’s “English”. Since English institution is very very RARE in Vientiane together with family’s tough financial status, leaving him no choice but to self-taught himself. My Grandma told me, his only 2 teachers were, an old turndowns Dictionary, and lunchbox sized Radios. My Dad is my Hero. Every time we spoke about this story he told it not in the tone that he is smart or great or better than anyone else, but he do told me that “Human like us, can achieve anything as long as we believe in ourselves, and be persistent with our actions”. Fast forward today, my Dad is enjoying his fruitful results of those hard works. Our large expenses are covered by my Dad earnings.

My Mom has always been possessed by the entrepreneurial spirit. Since her young ages, she always in loved with the idea of “one can defining one’s income”. She always finding her ways to get in small buy-sell here and there, for instance, selling corns, cucumbers, chili, chicken… until the point that she bought her own bicycle by grade 5, when most of her classmate got those by simply asking from their parent. Growing up her selling skills was peak and got into company, training and managing salesforces. Although working in company was fairly stable, however, she always have this thoughts of financial freedom, where her earnings should not tie to working hours only. It’s begins with that thought while working in a 8-5 for 5years, then she finally decided to quit and pursued her dream of becoming a Business Owner, in which she landed on Clothing business. 5 years fast forward today, her wholesale clothing is gaining a decent number of loyal customers bases. My Mom always taught me that “If you want to make it far in life focus on understanding people, do sincerely invest in others so they invest in you back. Never take without GIVING FIRST. Business relationship is not Friendship”. To me, if my Dad is a brave HERO, my Mom is the conscious mind inside Hero reminding him when is the right time to use his power. The earnings from my Mom business is covering household expenses, and additional miscellaneous.

Leave me to the point where I contributed only small part on my Mom’s size based on my affordability. My parent is the very very supporting type, in which I’m really grateful to have, they usually questioned me whether I needed help on the things that I wanted to do. I always turned their kind offers down. To me, it’s a shame really. Since they already invested so much of their savings into my education, and now I’m not to even be able to take care of myself fully. In my opinion, that’s give me no rights to asking for more help.

I was leveled with the ground during 2020, leaving with the thoughts of not be able to take care of my parent. I was working 8-5 with college fresh grads average earnings, and zero impact to society which I always said I wanted to do.

One day, I bumped into my formal Highschool Teacher. I was backed at the Highschool for some documents, and my formal Teacher was the man who responsible for it. I didn’t know it was him because he left while I was at grade 8 or 9. Since it was almost 10 years ago, I no longer recognized him. We were done with my documents stuff, he handed to me. And about to send me off. Then he looked at me and said, “were you the class of 2009? I used to teach here that time” then I really took a moment to look at his face and I started to remember him. This ran into was August of 2020, he was assigned once again to return teaching in my Highschool. He suggested that we should enjoy some Turkish tea in his office and talk. I agreed and followed him. Man! We talked like crazy, almost 2 hours, because there were lots to share and catchup. It has been long.

(Let’s call my formal teacher “J”)

In the past this Teacher was my favorite one, because every time he teaches or talks it’s more like brothers rather than Teacher-Student, and as today it hasn’t changed a bit. So, I did enjoy talking openly with him regarding how I felt, where I were at the moment, and what’s my dream (About creating impact). J must have saw something in me, when I explained to him WHY I wanted people to realized Intellectual is the greatest assets, which is a must for everyone to have and should be develop in order to live on with prosperity. I continued on about these kids here in this International School should realize how much lucky they are for their parent investment in them here, but sadly less than 10% of them realized it.

J looked at me and asked “True. That’s sad. But, why do you care? These people are not your family? Not even someone closed to you!”. I said, “Because I was there before. I didn’t know my purpose. I used to seat at the back of the classroom playing games, follow whoever I thought was cool just to impress people that I don’t even like, with the idea that being different was just plainly stupid. When come down to it, the real problem is not about being outside the group equal to bad. The true problem was, I don’t know HOW schooling can help me achieving my Dream. Boy! I learned it so well now! I just wish someone would have told me back then. If these kids here know it now, they will be so far off in the future. And yea, a better decision, and a better society”

J nodded in agreement gently and looked outside his office window in silent for a while..

We both took a sip of Turkish Tea, then I spoke “Anyhow, that’s life. You must experience it yourself. No one can do it for you.”

Silenced… once more…

I realized I was late and have to excused myself to leave. I was pushing a chair backward and standing up. Excuse words about to come out, then J whispered, “What if we change that?”

I putted on my confused expression and said, “Pardon me.. what did you say, brother?”

He explained, “What if we could help them now? Help them see why education is essential for their dream?”

Silence…

“What if you come remind them on the assembly line the first day of school? We normally have that morning session of the year just for regular welcome speech by School Owner, and some Head Teachers, which the kids never listen to anyway! If this year we do something different, maybe the messages will stick with them”

At that moment, I was thinking what am I going to talk with them about? Who am I to speak to them about how to live their life? Am I even successful myself? Everything in my mind tell me NO, Hell NO, Of course NO, my body also agreed since I already stood up and ready to leave just any moment. So, I said…

“Yea.”

“I’ll come talk to them.”

[Shittttt!!! Typing this reliving that moment again still gave me goose-bumped!!]

J told me, “Great! Let’s do it. Let me know if you needed any help from me! The school opening Day is 24th August 2020.”

And we said our goodbye for that day.

I came back home, gently asking my fully functioning brain in a screamed.

“WHY the HELL did you said YES for?”

“These are kids of the riches; they don’t give a damn about you! They don’t even listen to their own parent! Nor their brothers or sisters! Nor their teacher! And Who the F are you again Minster? 25 male, working a 8-5 earning average college grad’s income, here to talk about success and goals???

You are NOBODY!

And you got only 7days, before the event??? What the actual FUCK is this!!!”

Boy! that night, I did not sleep at all until super late.

Everything seems clear now, there is no way I can do this, I just set myself up to another fail story and embarrass myself even more, that’s all. I began to type the cancelation message on my phone to J, saying “I’m sorry brother, I don’t think I can come to the School Opening Day. My boss needed me for a business trips which include visiting our biggest customer, and provide training for their personnel.

To be continued..

Sorry guys, I’m gonna update what’s happened next in the following post. Otherwise, it might be too long. Also, I got something else needed to be done urgently.

Thanks for Reading,

01Wolf,

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